Category: Lessons Learned

2024: Time to Build Bridges

Listen, it’s January 2024; the wind blows through the smallest of alleyways, frozen precipitation reigns over parked cars and driveways, kids ride sleds down snow-covered hills, and my dog stands next to the dinner table asking, “Don’t you remember me? Give me some chicken … please!”. Well. I do like chicken, and none of it has fallen to the floor. Sorry!

It is at these moments, when there is nothing else to do, and you’ve streamed all of the streams, played all of the playlists, and really want to go outside (except for the fact that it’s cold outside) that you begin looking at a piece of parchment with blue ink from a few weeks ago: your New Year’s resolutions. It’s one thing before the clock strikes midnight, feverish writing hopes and aspirations, that you are looking to fill the page with content. But, once the balloons drop from the ceiling and the garland is put back in its boxes: you actually need to put a plan together taking words to action and … do something. Taking responsibility for those words, enacting a plan, and taking it all in.

It is about building bridges, taking the future, putting up resources, and making it happen. Introspective, time-consuming, nerve-racking: planning. It is one thing to jot down a few resolutions before midnight, but another thing to make the words come to life. Take the risk, chart the course, and make things happen. All of us do it, then we get busy, try it again, and some things stick.

Now that I have written down these words, it is time to get some rest. I will sleep soundly with a plan in place. Everything is good, except for my dog, who sleeps with one eye open, and waiting for the next piece of chicken to fall from the table.

Living After Midnight? Try 9 PM!

The family and I were watching TV. What show? Who knows … just read the story. I felt that I was done. Eyelids getting heavy, getting too relaxed on the couch, and every moment leads to the possibility of snoring. I knew I was done, got up from the couch and said, “Good night.”

My wife replies, “What?”

I head to the stairs, shuffling my feet, and eyes barely open. Just a few more steps between me and the sandman.

I decided another reply was in order, “Yes, I am tired.”

She asks “Are you tired?”

Damm right I am tired, that’s why I am heading to bed … I thought to myself. But, I knew expressing that statement would lead me to sleep on the couch. Where the whole family is sitting with the dog. The same couch I just left to go upstairs and get some sleep. How was that going to work anyway?

Stay on target, just a few more steps to sleep!

I reply again, “Good Night everyone!”

She is in disbelief. She looks at her smartphone and says, “But it’s only 9 PM!”

Really? Feels like midnight to me! What can I do to get out of this conversation so I can get some [explicitive] sleep!

“Got an early day tomorrow and I need to get some shut-eye.”

It was at that moment, I just heard the words. 9PM! Yes. Long gone are the days of late Saturday nights leading to early Sunday mornings, hanging out, and nothing to do the next day. Now, are the days of early to bed and early to rise.

I look at my family, eyes fixed on the screen, and intently watching the TV. How many more moments will I have like this? I decided to head back to the couch, sit on my spot, and enjoy this time.

It took me a minute to fall asleep and start snoring.

My kids were yelling, “DAD! STOP IT!”.

It was then I hear my wife say, “Go upstairs if you are going to do that!”

Bottom line: when you’re tired, just go to bed. If the family stops you, remind them that you snore. They won’t stop you ever again!

Patients and Patience: Know when to go home

Disclaimer: This post is not about anyone who is currently living, dead, or actually in the hospital. It’s just a story … let us keep it that way.

There comes a time in everyone’s life where they have to spend a few nights in the hospital. If you haven’t gone through the experience yet, more power to you. But for the other ninety-nine point nine percent of us, this will happen sometime in our life. Sorry. It just will.

Usually, as the folks who are not in the hospital, we have an obligation to those in the hospital. They get out of meetings. They rearrange our schedules. They do what they can to support whoever is not with us. That is what a family does, in case you didn’t know.

A hospital visit is never how you see it on TV. The family enters, the sick person is attached to a bunch of tubes, and usually, and everything is going to be ok. But that is not what I am talking about. When you are able to sit up, have food on your own, and have some reasonable expectation of when you’re getting out: then the relatives flock in and as a patient exercising patience, there is only so much you can do about it. If you find them annoying outside of the hospital, you will find them annoying amplified ten-fold when you are in a hospital bed and get leave the room. Did I go there? Yes. I just did!

When this happens, there are three things you can do to get rid of annoying hospital guests: 1) Saying you want to sleep, 2) keep looking at the clock, 3) say visiting hours are ending, or 4) keep pressing the nurse call button.

No problem! Here is how you can tell that your relative who is in the hospital wants you to go home.

Saying you want to sleep

When a person in the hospital wants to go to sleep … let them. That’s why you’re in the hospital in the first place, to get better. If you can’t get rid of your hospital guests, then start lowering your eyelids and they should get the message.

Keep Looking at the Clock

Just like in school, if you are distracted from the conversation, then your guests should realize it is time to go. They will think you are on some serious pain medication and excuse themselves out the door. You can keep telling them that you are tired. After all, you’re in the hospital! If they don’t get the hint, just fake sleep. They will leave soon enough!

Say Visiting Hours are Ending

As a patient, if you are saying that visiting hours are over, they will believe you. Most of the time, families have no understanding of your schedule and will rely on you to tell them when visiting hours are over. Am I serious? Yes. I am. But, how are you supposed to know when visiting hours are over … you just want to get out of the hospital!

Keep Pressing the Nurse Call Button

If you need some backup to get your relatives out of the room, just keep pressing the nurse call button. After a while of trying to talk to you, but continually getting interrupted, they will figure out that it is not a good time for the visit. Once again, if this doesn’t work, fake sleep …

Conclusion

Using any of the techniques above lets people know that you want to get some rest and get better. This isn’t a hotel! It is nice for the family to come out when you’re in the hospital, but as I mentioned before, if they are annoying outside of the hospital doors, it is only amplified when you’re in a hospital bed.

Where is your mask?

As part of the world-wide effort to keep people from COVID infection, there are certain protocols that you simply can not ignore. One of them, which effects civility and everyday life, is the mask. Yes the three millimeter piece of cloth, held by elastic hoops going around your ears, is the one item of clothing which will keep you from entering the hospital (along with vaccination shots … of course).

Mandated by local ordinance, good manners, and the pursuit of living: you can’t enter a building, go to the bathroom, or even say “Hello” to a friend without the mask. It is ubiquitous in modern life as the smartphone, which only got on the list ten to fifteen years ago. When you leave the house in the morning, you better have your mask, or you’re hitting the drive thru.

It’s early in the morning on a Monday. Late for work? Yes. No time for coffee? Darn right! I collect my keys, which are positioned by the front door. I open the front door. Before crossing the threshold, I run through the mental checklist: keys, wallet, mask? Mask? I am sure I have one in my back pocket! I have to go! Usually, it is “trust but verify” that I have these items, but in my haste, I trusted that everything is ok, and head out the door. As the key turns, the cylinders click, and run to the car. Did I forget anything? I try to reassure myself that everything was there and my focus is the road ahead and not the door behind.

Heading down the Interstate at an amazing rate of speed until I get to the office. Sliding into a parking slot, checking the time. Time: 8:55 AM. First stand up meeting: 9:00 AM. Time to door: two minutes. Exiting the car, click the key FOB to lock, and then run to the office. Mask? Check. I reach in my back pocket, it is there. I put it on my face. I grab the handle to enter the office. Locked. Do I have my badge to get in the office? I stop for a second and look around. Noooooo! I don’t have my badge!

Shoot! I can’t enter the office without it! What am I going to do? I try to follow an old lady into the office and was immediately put down by a swinging purse. I had my mask on so she didn’t recognize me. I kept yelling out, “But I am …”. Nope. With those words, I got a purse to the eye and a few whacks to the ribs.

I tried calling my friend in the office with the smartphone. Nope. He is already in the meeting.

I looked through the window of the conference room. It was somebody’s birthday. Wait. The old lady, she is retiring and this is her retirement party! As I feverishly knock on the window, everyone is having too good of a time, with cake, wearing hats, and blasting music. I peered through the window, a tear welled up in my eye, then security guards grabbed me, and threw me towards the road.

I said to the guards, “Please sir. I work here! My name is …” By then, they couldn’t recognize me with the mask on, so they walked away, went back through the office doors, and never to be heard from again.

Bottom line: Masks are awesome in keeping everyone safe, but when you’re heading out the door in the morning, don’t forget there are other items you need take, so you can make it through a day.

Fueling the Drive Ahead

First, Happy New Year!

Many of us have cleaned up after New Year’s parties, taking down Christmas lights, and settling into the fact that a change has set resolutions for the rest of the year. Resolutions? Yes! The (usually) empty promises we set at the beginning of the year, stating that things will be different, but eventually, the fuel runs out, life gets in the way, and lofty ambitions become overcome by events.

How can we take the vision of what we want to accomplish, make those goals manageable, and execute them? How can we fuel these goals and deliver on those resolutions?

That’s the problem, right? The fuel of how to drive the dreams into reality. How do we not get ‘burned out’ by pushing the goals too hard, too fast, that they do not make meaningful change?

Don’t drive the dream, it should be organic

If you have to commit so many resources to the change, then ‘burnout’ will occur. Change is organic so it can fit into the other priorities of your life. If you drive the dream too fast, you will run out of fuel for everything else.

Establish reasonable steps to accomplish your goals

Break down a task into reasonable steps and be realistic about how long it takes to accomplish them.

Stay on target

Nothing is achieved overnight. It takes time to integrate changes into your life. If your end date is too soon, changes don’t take hold, and you’ll wind up starting again.

Change is hard. That’s why we develop resolutions in the first place. Remember that as you make the change it’s not easy. It takes time and patience to make it work.

All of us have something in our lives which we want to change. But, moving forward,.know where you are with the issue, know where you are going, and chart a good course to get there. Driving the solution is what it’s about and making sure you are properly resourced to take care of the work ahead.

Anyway, thank you for your time!