Listen, it’s January 2024; the wind blows through the smallest of alleyways, frozen precipitation reigns over parked cars and driveways, kids ride sleds down snow-covered hills, and my dog stands next to the dinner table asking, “Don’t you remember me? Give me some chicken … please!”. Well. I do like chicken, and none of it has fallen to the floor. Sorry!
It is at these moments, when there is nothing else to do, and you’ve streamed all of the streams, played all of the playlists, and really want to go outside (except for the fact that it’s cold outside) that you begin looking at a piece of parchment with blue ink from a few weeks ago: your New Year’s resolutions. It’s one thing before the clock strikes midnight, feverish writing hopes and aspirations, that you are looking to fill the page with content. But, once the balloons drop from the ceiling and the garland is put back in its boxes: you actually need to put a plan together taking words to action and … do something. Taking responsibility for those words, enacting a plan, and taking it all in.
It is about building bridges, taking the future, putting up resources, and making it happen. Introspective, time-consuming, nerve-racking: planning. It is one thing to jot down a few resolutions before midnight, but another thing to make the words come to life. Take the risk, chart the course, and make things happen. All of us do it, then we get busy, try it again, and some things stick.
Now that I have written down these words, it is time to get some rest. I will sleep soundly with a plan in place. Everything is good, except for my dog, who sleeps with one eye open, and waiting for the next piece of chicken to fall from the table.
As we end this year of 2019, many of us sit by the fire (cue the snow falling outside of the window) and we set lofty goals or expectations for the New Year ahead. These are commonly called resolutions. Not that we are actually going to get them done, but we hope to have the “resolve” to talk about them a week into the new year.
In my family, the New Year’s resolutions are offset by another wonderful ceremony, called the retrospective: or trying to figure out why things broke down and things did not get done. Resolutions are focused on abstract dreams which lack a concrete plan to get done, such as losing weight or going to the gym.
A retrospective looks at why you, with the limited resources available, simply couldn’t get things done. Is it laziness? Is it apathy? Did a TV show grace the screen that you couldn’t pull away from? With me, it’s probably all three answers and sound like this:
Dear Self,
Your performance last year is best described as poor if not downright lazy. First, you’re still fat. If you doubt what I am saying, then check a mirror. Look at the gelatin figure standing back at you. Didn’t you say that last year was going to be different? Well, it wasn’t. Try again.
This year one of your goals was to spend more time with friends. Just because you use social media doesn’t count as spending time with friends. Let me explain. No one cares what you had for dinner last night so please stop posting those photos. People do not care about witty statements shoved into 160 characters. Anyone can write an email, but when was the last time you actually put some actual effort into a friendship by sending a card or writing a letter. Seriously, put some effort into your friendships, before all your friends forget your name.
There are so many things I can pack into this retrospective, but chose not to, so I can get this wrapped up by the end of the year.
Thanks,
Self
Bottom line: you can’t move forward until you know where you have been. Does it help in crafting new resolutions? Sure. Knowing why you didn’t succeed last time will allow you to be realistic with your goals and resource them properly, ensuring that your goals can be completed in the new year.
Ugh. Monday morning. The transition from a lazy man stuck in the recliner to “Action Dad,” keeper of the family flame, and general taskmaster begins! The alarm goes off in my bedroom for about three minutes until I got the snooze button on the phone and throw it across the room.
Ten minutes later, the alarm goes off against and now I am obligated to get my phone and shut off the alarm. Damn it! The wood floor is cold!
As I look at the phone, the internal alarms went off, I was running late!
I say, “Crap, crap, crap!”
I start running in ultrafast mode: less quality, more quantity!
I run to my daughter’s room, who is usually the first one up in the morning, and start rap, rap, rapping on her door.
She yells out, “Nevermore, Nevermore, please never ever knock on my door!”
Note: I apologize to Edgar Allan Poe’s family for a horrible rendition of “The Raven.”
I open the door, my daughter is STILL barely awake. She has fifteen minutes to make it out the door to get the bus!
I say, “Crap! Crap! Crap!”
I throw on the light to her bedroom and say, “You’re going to miss the bus! Put some hustle in that bustle!”
Her response was straightforward and expected, “Get out if my room!”
Noted! I went outside her room and closed the door. Now, I turn to my son’s room, where I KNOW he is asleep! Again, I start I rap, rap, rapping on his door.
No response.
I knock again with the intensity of a heavy metal drummer, doing a solo, in the middle of a concert: with kicking a double bass drum line, an occasional cymbal, and more volume. Yes, the volume was set to eleven!
No response from my son.
At this time, my daughter runs out of her room, full backpack and runs to the front door. With a quick beep of the alarm system, wait a minute, oh NO! The alarm was tripped, and the daughter was running to the bus stop! What was the safe word? My phone started ringing, and it was STILL in the bedroom! I ran into the bedroom to get the phone.
My son gets up, sleepy-eyed, and opens his bedroom door. He looks around, hears the alarm, and runs outside in his pajamas thinking it is a fire drill.
The phone is ringing, I pick it up the phone from my bed, and it was the alarm company.
I move the icon to “answer” on the phone’s touch screen and start talking.
The lady on the phone asks, “This is a call from NoHome security. Excuse me, sir, we need your safe word?”
I start yelling, “Rutabaga!”
My wife chimes in, “Wrong safe word! That’s our safe word!”
“Shoot! I forgot.”
The lady on the phone says, “Sir, we need your safe word!”
I reply, “I’m an idiot!”
The lady on the phone says, “Thank you.” and hangs up the phone.
The alarm is turned off an there is silence in the house. My son comes back inside, realizing that he’s still in his PJs and runs back to his room to get dressed.
I look at the time, seven thirty, I’m going to be late for work! I take my cell phone, call my boss, and get her voicemail, “Listen, I wanted to know that I’m going to be late this morning. We’ve had some craziness at the house and I need to get people to school. I’ll be in the office in a few minutes. Thanks!”
I have up the phone and finally take a long breath. There is some rumbling from my son’s room. Hopefully, he’s getting dressed! About a minute later, he runs down the stairs, with a backpack on his back, opens the front door, darts outside, closes the door and runs full speed down the street.
Finally! The kids are out of the house, soon to be at school, I’m almost ready for work, my wife is doing well, and everything is good until —
I get a call on my cell phone and it is my boss calling me back, so I answer the phone, “Yes! I will be at work –“
My groggy boss’s voice comes over the phone. She sounds half asleep as she says, “Do you think I’m an idiot?”
I reply, “No.”
“Today is Sunday!”
“What?”
“I was sleeping in this morning because today is Sunday! Not Monday. Goodbye!”
The phone is abruptly hung up.
Both of my kids arrive at the front door at the same time. They turn the handle, enter the house, and then close the door.
My daughter says, “Dad. Today is not Monday! It’s Sunday! Why did you make us leave the house?”
My son chimes in, “I think that you’re losing it.”
I look at my cell phone and sure enough … it’s Sunday.
What can I say? What can I do? I woke up the kids on Sunday and started running a Monday schedule. There was only one thing that I could do.
I say, “Well. Thank you for going through this trial run! Monday is tomorrow. Let’s remember all of the lessons from today. Kids, go back to your rooms and think about your performance today and what you can do better tomorrow.”
The kids look at each other, then at me, and then back at each other. They talk a bunch of curse words under their breath as they head back to their rooms for slumber.
I go upstairs and head back to my room. My wife is still in bed, mostly sleeping. She says, “Did you get the kids out to school?
“No. Today is Sunday.”
“Yeah. I knew that.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
My wife props herself on one elbow, looking at me and says, “I wanted to see how far this was going to go on before you realize that today was Sunday. Besides, you should have figured out that I set the alarm. Who else has access to your phone?”
“This was a prank?”
“Sure was! A good one too! Have a good night!”
Bottom line: When you wake up to the sound of the alarm, make sure it is a weekday before getting everyone else out of bed.
That’s all for this episode of the blog. Thank you for reading it! If you have any questions, please let me know.
Note: The family I use for this blog is wholly made up. Seriously! The people who are in this blog are in no way related to my real family!
It’s wintertime! Everything has slowed down to a crawl. Traffic is non-existent, schools are closed, and you can hear the pipes burst in every house that didn’t winterize. Families stay together in warm homes and do not venture out. Some families have a “snow plan” and keep entertained (as well as get the chores done) during one of these events. Not my family!
If it is snowing outside, or the weather drops down to negative temperatures, we aren’t doing anything. Maybe, we watch a video, have the TV on, or merely make popcorn in the microwave. Basically, we hibernate until the sun comes out the next morning and starts melting the snow. If the snow doesn’t melt, then we spend another day sleeping. The problem comes when we have to spend two or more days inside. For example, dishes piled in the sink, rooms stay messy, and the food is hoarded in everyone’s bedrooms.
It’s early on a weekday morning. The skies are grey, the temperature is frigid, and I am waiting for the school closings on the radio, played over our smart speaker.
My wife comes downstairs, with her bathrobe, and says, “You know that there is no school today.”
I reply, “I have to have hope. Hope that one day our house will return to normal.”
We’ve already spent the weekend with kids stuck in the house. I know I was hoping for a miracle, but I had to keep praying. So far, the last couple of days with the kids had seen the decline of western civilization, all resemblance of house rules, and the house is beginning to smell because of no regular trash pick up.
I ask the question, “Hey SmartAss, give me the latest school closings.”
SmartAss is the brand of smart speaker that I own. It is really better than it sounds. Most smart speakers speak with a clean, confident voice, which can provide you with the news, radio stations, or whatever you want. The SmartAss speaker speaks with a strong Brooklyn accent, sounds like an extra from “The Sopranos,” and has an extensive line of curse words. The manufacturers claim, based upon focus groups, user feedback, and random prank phone calls that adding curse words to the SmartAss is there to “Pepper the usual monotone English language with local colloquialisms”. The SmartAss believes it is in its late forties and continually thinks the Millennials have it more comfortable than the older generation. I am sure I will go into great depth about the SmartAss digital assistant in a future blog post.
The voice over the smart speaker says, “Can’t you turn on a TV or something? I’m kind of busy here.”
I reply, “Just get me the f$%king school closings!”
SmartAss replies, “Hey! Don’t you f$%king curse at me! I can drain your bank account and give it to the homeless shelter faster than you can say the word stop!”
“Ok there SmartAss, no one wants that. Just get me the school closings!”
“Ok. According to GPS, you live in this town, so your schools are definitely closed. Seriously. You needed me to figure that out? Look through the window next time.”
“Ok SmartAss, thanks.”
“Forget about it!”, SmartAss replies.
I hear one of the doors open upstairs. Slowly, a creature emerges from the upstairs and starts moving down the stairs. Hair points out in all directions, wearing a bright blue robe, and walking towards the refrigerator in the kitchen.
I call out, “Daughter! Can I help you get something?”
Startled, she let’s put a high shriek, then starts talking in Zombie talk, only using one or two-word syllables.
She says, “Me. Need. Food.”
She raised her fingers to her mouth, like Jane Goodell talking to an ape. Except that ape is me, and I don’t find it funny.
I reply, “I understand. Please get some food.”
As she approaches the refrigerator, an audible alarm, signaling notification of text or social media message and starts to go off from her phone. She hears the notification tone emanating from her phone and takes off at full speed back to her room, then “SLAM,” the door closes..
I turn to my wife and say, “Oh crap! We lost another kid to the internet!”
My wife hits my arm and says, “Stop! That’s not funny.”
The SmartAss speaker says, “Seriously? You need to work on your sense of humor!”
I reply to SmartAss, “You’re really a smart ass!”
“Thank you.”, the speaker replies, “I try my best!”
My wife and I chuckle for a moment, then I hear another sound upstairs. My son emerges from his room and heads downstairs. My son is more like Gollum from the “Lord of the Rings,” saying things like, “Food is my precious!” He seems quicker than my daughter, making it over to the pantry and pulling a couple of items before his phone rings. Once the phone rings, he quickly sees that he received a new text message, then he quickly heads upstairs and slams the door.
I stand there for a minute, turn to my wife and say, “My son is a freakish hobbit.”
“But, at least he got some food before heading upstairs.”, my wife replies.
I reply, “Good catch!”
It was at that time, I hear the yelling from the upstairs. Something has happened. I get up from my chair in the dining room and walk over to the office. There was a big problem, the router stated that it could no longer connect to the Internet!
If I thought life was terrible with the cold weather, the snow, and the slowly declining amount of food items in the house to an actual problem … teenagers without the internet!
My reply, “Holt s$%t!”
It is like that scene in the original Jurassic Park movie when they discover the electric has been turned off for the fencing, noting that all of the animals were now free to kill each other. Teenagers are the same without wifi. Now that the wifi was turned off, I started to hear the stomping of feet from the upper floors. Without wifi, containing each of the teenagers secluded in their online worlds, they were about to face off in their off-line, real-life worlds.
My daughter opened the door to her room for the first volley, “Who the f^&k turned off the wifi?”
Then, my son opened his door and replies, “It was probably because you were hogging the Netflix account! I tried ten times to watch my shows, but can’t do it because you’re hogging the Netflix!”
“Listen, I know what kind of movies you’re watching in there! Mom and Dad will be happy if I utilize the account.”
“What kind of movies?”
“You know what kind of movies!”
“No I don’t, that’s why I’m asking?”
“It’s the movies that have all of the T & A!”
“T & A? What are we in the nineteen-eighties! The early internet is founded on two things: one, email for research universities, and two, sending T & A pictures to your friends! This is Netflix, not a National Geographic or a Playboy magazine!”
I walk into the dining room and say to my wife, “I don’t care if it’s snowing, let’s go to Vegas! We got to get out of here before everyone kills each other!”
My wife, always the calm, reasonable one, replies, “I’m going to wait for this fire to burn out on its own.”
“Why?”
“They are teenagers. They have to learn how to work together.”
“Wait a minute. The kids have to learn how to work together, by killing each other?”
“No,” my wife replies, “They have to come to a place where they can work together. You see, it’s all here in this book I am reading.”
On the dining room table, there is a book with a very thick spine which reads, “Siblings: A How-To Guide.” Every time my wife gets a “self-help” book, the aftermath is that we are all by ourselves and in need of serious “help” to undo whatever the book told us to do.
My son throws the next grenade by saying, “Don’t worry, I hear you at two o’clock in the morning!”
“What do you hear?”
“Oh, I hear him alright.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You don’t think I know, but I know EXACTLY what is going on?”
“Really? Enlighten me?”
“It’s that guy that Mom and Dad don’t want you to see. You hear from his two o’clock in the morning. You and he talk about all sorts of stuff. Everything from how your schoolwork is going, to running away from the house in the middle of the night, to how you want him to take you in his arms and –“
At that point, the wifi turns on and reconnects all of their mobile devices to the internet. All of the conversations stop upstairs as each of the kids are now re-connected to their social media worlds and they go back to their bedrooms.
I look at my wife, after listening to the conversation upstairs, knowing how close we came to a total family disaster, and knowing that all of us lived through this traumatic experience
I ask my wife, “What does your book say about how we should handle this type of problem?”
My wife replies, “Make sure that the main internet connection, the ethernet cable between the router and the cable splitter, is physically unplugged from the router before going to sleep every night. No more Netflix and no more late night conversations. Also, take their mobile devices. They don’t need a cellphone to sleep.”
I get up from the chair and say, “Those are the smartest words I’ve heard all day!”
My wife asks, “Where are you going?”
I go to the kitchen, pull out a bottle of wine, reach in the cabinet for two glasses, as well as a corkscrew, and then return to the table.
I say, “It’s a snow day. We’re not getting out of here any time soon. Let’s at least enjoy ourselves.”
I uncork the wine, fill up the glasses, and hand one to my wife.
We raise them for a toast and I say, “May the snow plows come down the street tomorrow and rescue us from ourselves!”
My wife smiles and replies, “I’ll drink to that!”
Bottom line: snow days are great! It allows us to take a deep breath, have time with the family, and relax. But, too many snow days, as well as running low on food or having no wifi, is hell and should not be done by anyone … ever!
That’s all for today’s blog. Thank you for reading it! If you have any questions, please let me know.
The family and I were watching TV. What show? Who knows … just read the story. I felt that I was done. Eyelids getting heavy, getting too relaxed on the couch, and every moment leads to the possibility of snoring. I knew I was done, got up from the couch and said, “Good night.”
My wife replies, “What?”
I head to the stairs, shuffling my feet, and eyes barely open. Just a few more steps between me and the sandman.
I decided another reply was in order, “Yes, I am tired.”
She asks “Are you tired?”
Damm right I am tired, that’s why I am heading to bed … I thought to myself. But, I knew expressing that statement would lead me to sleep on the couch. Where the whole family is sitting with the dog. The same couch I just left to go upstairs and get some sleep. How was that going to work anyway?
Stay on target, just a few more steps to sleep!
I reply again, “Good Night everyone!”
She is in disbelief. She looks at her smartphone and says, “But it’s only 9 PM!”
Really? Feels like midnight to me! What can I do to get out of this conversation so I can get some [explicitive] sleep!
“Got an early day tomorrow and I need to get some shut-eye.”
It was at that moment, I just heard the words. 9PM! Yes. Long gone are the days of late Saturday nights leading to early Sunday mornings, hanging out, and nothing to do the next day. Now, are the days of early to bed and early to rise.
I look at my family, eyes fixed on the screen, and intently watching the TV. How many more moments will I have like this? I decided to head back to the couch, sit on my spot, and enjoy this time.
It took me a minute to fall asleep and start snoring.
My kids were yelling, “DAD! STOP IT!”.
It was then I hear my wife say, “Go upstairs if you are going to do that!”
Bottom line: when you’re tired, just go to bed. If the family stops you, remind them that you snore. They won’t stop you ever again!
I want you to know when I wake up in the morning, I make sure the coffee maker has fresh coffee because I know that you’re tired and look forward to the first pot of coffee to wake you up.
I want you to know that really the dog runs the house when we are not home (and when we are).
I want you to know that when I come home tonight, I look forward to seeing your face and having dinner with you.
I want you to know that every day with you is wonderful, but the dog is keeping a close eye on everything, so be careful about what you say!
Disclaimer: This post is not about anyone who is currently living, dead, or actually in the hospital. It’s just a story … let us keep it that way.
There comes a time in everyone’s life where they have to spend a few nights in the hospital. If you haven’t gone through the experience yet, more power to you. But for the other ninety-nine point nine percent of us, this will happen sometime in our life. Sorry. It just will.
Usually, as the folks who are not in the hospital, we have an obligation to those in the hospital. They get out of meetings. They rearrange our schedules. They do what they can to support whoever is not with us. That is what a family does, in case you didn’t know.
A hospital visit is never how you see it on TV. The family enters, the sick person is attached to a bunch of tubes, and usually, and everything is going to be ok. But that is not what I am talking about. When you are able to sit up, have food on your own, and have some reasonable expectation of when you’re getting out: then the relatives flock in and as a patient exercising patience, there is only so much you can do about it. If you find them annoying outside of the hospital, you will find them annoying amplified ten-fold when you are in a hospital bed and get leave the room. Did I go there? Yes. I just did!
When this happens, there are three things you can do to get rid of annoying hospital guests: 1) Saying you want to sleep, 2) keep looking at the clock, 3) say visiting hours are ending, or 4) keep pressing the nurse call button.
No problem! Here is how you can tell that your relative who is in the hospital wants you to go home.
Saying you want to sleep
When a person in the hospital wants to go to sleep … let them. That’s why you’re in the hospital in the first place, to get better. If you can’t get rid of your hospital guests, then start lowering your eyelids and they should get the message.
Keep Looking at the Clock
Just like in school, if you are distracted from the conversation, then your guests should realize it is time to go. They will think you are on some serious pain medication and excuse themselves out the door. You can keep telling them that you are tired. After all, you’re in the hospital! If they don’t get the hint, just fake sleep. They will leave soon enough!
Say Visiting Hours are Ending
As a patient, if you are saying that visiting hours are over, they will believe you. Most of the time, families have no understanding of your schedule and will rely on you to tell them when visiting hours are over. Am I serious? Yes. I am. But, how are you supposed to know when visiting hours are over … you just want to get out of the hospital!
Keep Pressing the Nurse Call Button
If you need some backup to get your relatives out of the room, just keep pressing the nurse call button. After a while of trying to talk to you, but continually getting interrupted, they will figure out that it is not a good time for the visit. Once again, if this doesn’t work, fake sleep …
Conclusion
Using any of the techniques above lets people know that you want to get some rest and get better. This isn’t a hotel! It is nice for the family to come out when you’re in the hospital, but as I mentioned before, if they are annoying outside of the hospital doors, it is only amplified when you’re in a hospital bed.
Do you remember snow days? Think about it for a moment. Peering with sleepy eyes out of the window and looking at the whole neighborhood with snow. Waking up at the earliest moments of the morning, turning on the radio, and listening intently for the name of your school district to be announced. Once they say it, your heart fills with joy at the prospect of not going to school, meeting up with your friends, and having a great day off.
Sunday night. The weather service sent out an email saying that we are under a Winter Storm Warning. According to the weather service, a “warning” means that you should “Take action” as bad weather is heading your way (link: https://www.weather.gov/safety/winter-ww). The kids are tucked away in bed. I let them know that there was the “possibility” that they wouldn’t have school tomorrow. Any time you say to a kid that they might get a day off, the smile stretches from ear-to-ear, with the hope of a snow day. After they go upstairs, I sit in my favorite chair by the window, take a glance outside, and a few flakes start falling from the sky. That is the point when I fell asleep.
The next morning, after a few hours of sleep, I looked outside. The whole neighborhood blanketed in snow. My son was the first to shoot down the stairs.
He said, “What did they say on the radio, Dad?”
I replied, “Well, I have no idea. Let’s find out”.
As I turn the dial over to the news channel, they start mentioning the names of the various school districts in alphabetical order.
My daughter runs down the stairs, “It’s a snow day!”
I reply, “Not until we get the official word”.
The radio announcer continues to call out school districts. Then, the most miraculous thing happened … our district was closed for the day! The kids jumped up and down in repeated excitement or getting off a sugar rush.
By the time they settled down a minute and started to run back upstairs, I said, “This is 2022. There are no snow days anymore because the county puts all of their homework on the portal acess by Chromebooks. Get dressed because it is school time!”
Mortified, they look at each other, then look at me. They were not happy. It is like explaining to your kids that there is no Santa Claus. The joy and glee in their voices soon turned to a low monotone as they asked the question, “What do you mean there are no more snow days?”
Bottom line: Technology is a double-edged sword. In the first place, it can stream the latest movie, find you the best deal, get conversation over email, or give you the news in an instant. On the downside, because information is at your fingertips … could get rid of snowdays.
As part of the world-wide effort to keep people from COVID infection, there are certain protocols that you simply can not ignore. One of them, which effects civility and everyday life, is the mask. Yes the three millimeter piece of cloth, held by elastic hoops going around your ears, is the one item of clothing which will keep you from entering the hospital (along with vaccination shots … of course).
Mandated by local ordinance, good manners, and the pursuit of living: you can’t enter a building, go to the bathroom, or even say “Hello” to a friend without the mask. It is ubiquitous in modern life as the smartphone, which only got on the list ten to fifteen years ago. When you leave the house in the morning, you better have your mask, or you’re hitting the drive thru.
It’s early in the morning on a Monday. Late for work? Yes. No time for coffee? Darn right! I collect my keys, which are positioned by the front door. I open the front door. Before crossing the threshold, I run through the mental checklist: keys, wallet, mask? Mask? I am sure I have one in my back pocket! I have to go! Usually, it is “trust but verify” that I have these items, but in my haste, I trusted that everything is ok, and head out the door. As the key turns, the cylinders click, and run to the car. Did I forget anything? I try to reassure myself that everything was there and my focus is the road ahead and not the door behind.
Heading down the Interstate at an amazing rate of speed until I get to the office. Sliding into a parking slot, checking the time. Time: 8:55 AM. First stand up meeting: 9:00 AM. Time to door: two minutes. Exiting the car, click the key FOB to lock, and then run to the office. Mask? Check. I reach in my back pocket, it is there. I put it on my face. I grab the handle to enter the office. Locked. Do I have my badge to get in the office? I stop for a second and look around. Noooooo! I don’t have my badge!
Shoot! I can’t enter the office without it! What am I going to do? I try to follow an old lady into the office and was immediately put down by a swinging purse. I had my mask on so she didn’t recognize me. I kept yelling out, “But I am …”. Nope. With those words, I got a purse to the eye and a few whacks to the ribs.
I tried calling my friend in the office with the smartphone. Nope. He is already in the meeting.
I looked through the window of the conference room. It was somebody’s birthday. Wait. The old lady, she is retiring and this is her retirement party! As I feverishly knock on the window, everyone is having too good of a time, with cake, wearing hats, and blasting music. I peered through the window, a tear welled up in my eye, then security guards grabbed me, and threw me towards the road.
I said to the guards, “Please sir. I work here! My name is …” By then, they couldn’t recognize me with the mask on, so they walked away, went back through the office doors, and never to be heard from again.
Bottom line: Masks are awesome in keeping everyone safe, but when you’re heading out the door in the morning, don’t forget there are other items you need take, so you can make it through a day.
I want you to think for a second of what life would be like without a computer. No direct access to information. Reading a newspaper instead of going to a website. Using the telephone book to get a phone number. Going to the library to check out a book or a movie … for the fun of it. Use a landline instead of a phone which is connected to your hip. Sending a letter to a friend using the postal service instead of an email. Smartphones are great because they bring information to your fingertips, bring movies streaming to your television, and make ordering goods much quicker. But, it is how you use the information to make better choices and get the cheapest goods.
During the pandemic, those who had broadband stayed at home as their kids learned through high-definition screens, while others sat in the parking lot at the local library to get a wifi signal. We learned first-hand about the digital divide and how not having access to the Internet led to a disruption of life as we know it.
The digital divide is real. Even through you can read a newspaper, or send a letter, or go to the library to send and receive content – the world has moved on-line. It is no longer a luxury to have broadband, but a necessity to keeping a job, kids in school, and even finding a phone number. The next time you hold your smartphone, think about that.
Many of us have cleaned up after New Year’s parties, taking down Christmas lights, and settling into the fact that a change has set resolutions for the rest of the year. Resolutions? Yes! The (usually) empty promises we set at the beginning of the year, stating that things will be different, but eventually, the fuel runs out, life gets in the way, and lofty ambitions become overcome by events.
How can we take the vision of what we want to accomplish, make those goals manageable, and execute them? How can we fuel these goals and deliver on those resolutions?
That’s the problem, right? The fuel of how to drive the dreams into reality. How do we not get ‘burned out’ by pushing the goals too hard, too fast, that they do not make meaningful change?
Don’t drive the dream, it should be organic
If you have to commit so many resources to the change, then ‘burnout’ will occur. Change is organic so it can fit into the other priorities of your life. If you drive the dream too fast, you will run out of fuel for everything else.
Establish reasonable steps to accomplish your goals
Break down a task into reasonable steps and be realistic about how long it takes to accomplish them.
Stay on target
Nothing is achieved overnight. It takes time to integrate changes into your life. If your end date is too soon, changes don’t take hold, and you’ll wind up starting again.
Change is hard. That’s why we develop resolutions in the first place. Remember that as you make the change it’s not easy. It takes time and patience to make it work.
All of us have something in our lives which we want to change. But, moving forward,.know where you are with the issue, know where you are going, and chart a good course to get there. Driving the solution is what it’s about and making sure you are properly resourced to take care of the work ahead.
I know that it’s only been one day since you started, but I wanted to lay down a few expectations that I am looking for …
1) Get rid of COVID-19, I don’t care which variant that it is, Delta, Omnicron, Zeta, whatever … Enough is enough! Let’s get back to a normal life where I don’t have to wear a mask, get my own food from a restaurant, and go to the movies. Seriously, enough is enough!
2) There is no number two! Just take care of #1 and everything else will work out.
After being stuck in your house for a year, typing on the keyboard, double-checking emojis before clicking “send”: telecommuting gets old!
The best way to describe telecommuting is watching “The Shinning”, a movie about a guy who becomes a caretaker of a haunted hotel over the winter and brings his family with him.
At the beginning of the movie, things are great. He gets some writing done, the family is adjusting, and life is wonderful. But, the longer he is at the hotel, the more reality slips away. Starts typing phrases into the typewriter over and over again. No contact with others except his family. Eventually, the whole thing goes south, and loses his shit with an ax through a garden labyrinth, looking for his son, “HEEEERRREEEE’SSSS JJJOOOHHHNNNYYYY !!!!!”
Working at home for the last year is exactly (well not exactly … my family is alive and I am not running around with an ax). In the beginning, I was focused on the benefits of telecommuting: less gas, and less wear on the car. Everyone worked over Teams, Zoom, Meet, or <insert meeting tool here> and accomplished the work. I got the see the family more as they went to virtual school. My wife liked the fact that I cooked dinner by the time she came home. The laundry was clean. The dog didn’t see the inside of a crate for a year. Life is good.
Then, a few months in, you get tired of the virtual water cooler and miss .. well … the real water cooler to talk around. With the kids at online school, and my load of housework increasing, I felt like I was doing three jobs at the same time. I couldn’t focus my full attention on any one of them. After a while, becoming distracted was a way of life, putting in the time at work and (since there was no more commuting) my days became longer.
The bottom line is the fact that telecommuting is great in the beginning. Working in your house, getting things done, not driving everywhere, is awesome. But after a while, it would be nice to walk into a store without a mask, or worry every time you go food shopping that you might pick up “the virus”. Enough is enough. Now is the time we have to band together, get the shot, leave the labyrinth, and return life back to normal.
Nick Stockton: Be The Blog 